i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
