How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
