she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
