absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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