Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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