so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
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Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
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I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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