im having a threesome with these popsicles
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
