Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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