hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize