Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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