haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
