The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
