We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
