the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
