I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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