That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
