Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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