i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
