What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
