but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
