need another drink. this is the easiest way
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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