at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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