dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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