Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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