It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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