Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
