even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
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grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
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What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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