so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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