wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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