Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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