wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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