I'm going to jail i love you
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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