party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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