It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
