you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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