no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
