Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.