nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
