He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Green mimosas i think yes
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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