I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
