ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
