The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
