Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wish I only lived at night.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
