Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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