She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
