I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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