there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....