Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.