I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
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After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
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I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her