Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.

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  (651): I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked. http://tfl.nu/b7zw
  Replies (104) Good night (4458) Bad night (2428)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.

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  (937): I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/skfa
  Replies (8) Good night (3906) Bad night (815)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.

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  (803): Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning. http://tfl.nu/55ug
  Replies (12) Good night (4526) Bad night (1053)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success

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  (801): we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success http://tfl.nu/bau6
  Replies (52) Good night (8839) Bad night (1040)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.

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  (401): You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas. http://tfl.nu/h7nj
  Replies (4) Good night (4104) Bad night (828)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.

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  (507): So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning. http://tfl.nu/28fz
  Replies (4) Good night (906) Bad night (2449)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?

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  (904): Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke? http://tfl.nu/8orw
  Replies (19) Good night (4034) Bad night (1426)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  pants will make it better? really?

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  (804): I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand. (1-804): pants will make it better? really? http://tfl.nu/cx1r
  Replies (7) Good night (2381) Bad night (698)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?

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  (269): A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash? http://tfl.nu/uuv0
  Replies (8) Good night (2530) Bad night (787)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.

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  (860): I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS. http://tfl.nu/9u6p
  Replies (9) Good night (1539) Bad night (697)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.

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  (402): Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy. http://tfl.nu/5n13
  Replies (5) Good night (1660) Bad night (600)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.

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  (413): I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened. http://tfl.nu/qzdq
  Replies (10) Good night (2701) Bad night (1093)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?

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  (303): I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day. (720): When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30? http://tfl.nu/a4tl
  Replies (3) Good night (1766) Bad night (542)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.

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  (509): This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it. http://tfl.nu/jpqq
  Replies (4) Good night (827) Bad night (455)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.

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  (440): literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck. http://tfl.nu/514p
  Replies (1) Good night (596) Bad night (413)

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