Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize