please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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