What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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