All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
