Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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