oh god the rape fog is back!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
