they need to just BURY HIM!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
