My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
