i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
