i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Did we literally take a cab across the street
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
