Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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