Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
