Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
