What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
