Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
