somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
